I'm going to tell you something now that's really embarrassing for me, but it's what's at the top of my mind this morning, so here we go.
I'm scared of the telephone.
There. I said it. I don't feel any better about it, but now you know.
Just to clarify: I don't cover the phones in our house with pillowcases when they're not in use, and I don't freak out and start trying to climb lampposts if I see a guy on the street talking on his cell. I do get nervous when the phone rings, though- not because I'm expecting bad news or some random jerk calling to yell at me... I just don't like it, and it makes me feel a bit anxious.
Calling someone, though- that's what I avoid as much as I possibly can. I will go into offices to make appointments if I happen to be in the area rather than phoning from home; I'll write to ask for forms from the government instead of calling. I have no problem being home when the oil truck comes, but AJ had better be the one who calls them. The thought of picking up the phone and dialing makes my chest feel tight and my mouth go dry. My skin gets tingly, and not in a good way.
There is NO good reason for this. I mean, I've had experiences that have made it worse, no doubt- having a job that required calling people about something they're probably not interested in (gym memberships), times when one payment or another was late and I worried that if the phone rang, it was going to be someone looking for money... but I'm not doing/worrying about those things now. The phone should be my friend, this miraculous contraption that allows me to talk directly to people (or switchboards) that are blocks- nay, TOWNS away! Huzzah!
I'm thinking about this today because the car insurance company called yesterday and left a message. They got the change of address notice I sent them (always by mail, never by phone), but "there's more to it than that" when you move to another province. I have to call in, and I don't know what they're going to want from me. We need to cancel our old coverage and start up an account with the new province's office, I know that. WHY IS THAT SCARY?!!
It's irrational. But no matter how often I realize that the worst that could happen isn't so bad at all, I still get shaky when I have to dial a number. This even applies to phoning friends and, to a slightly lesser extent, family. People I know and love.
I'm such a loser.
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