Sunday, April 26, 2009

Sleep Deprivation Experiment: Day 1,346

Maybe it only seems like it's been that long since I had a full night's sleep. There must have been a few nights somewhere in between Simon learning to sleep through the night (usually) and me having another adorable parasite inside me messing up my sleep, but I don't remember them. It certainly feels like it's been too many years since I really felt well-rested... actually, I don't remember what that feels like. Is it good? Someone remind me, please!

Ike is now 1 year, 2 months and 12 days old, and I still can't fill in that annoying little space in his baby book that says, "I first slept through the night on ___________". Every parenting book I've read clearly states that a normal, healthy baby has no physical need to be up two or three (or hey, even one!) times a night for bottle or boobage, but here we are. I've tried going in and rocking him without feeding him- it just pisses him off, and buying new jammies after he's hulked himself right out of them was just getting too expensive. I've tried letting him cry; the problem is that he doesn't stop and go back to sleep like he's supposed to- not within the time I'm willing to let him cry, anyway. Also, here's always the problem of his crying waking his big brother up, too- and he's not a great sleeper himself. Between the two restless wonders over there, there have been recent nights when I was up 5 times between 10 (when Simon finally quits playing in his room and goes to sleep) and 6:15 a.m. (when Ike wakes up).

I'm convinced that the boys are actually secret agents of some evil researcher doing unethical feildwork in the field of sleep-deprivation.

So where does this leave us in the morning? On a fast train to Crankyland, that's where it leaves us. I don't want to get out of bed- in fact, I have trouble even waking up a lot of mornings, never mind rolling over until I land on the floor. Ike generally wakes up in a good mood, but then, he's probably been asleep for at least 11 hours- and he'll be having a nap soon. Simon will be up by then, though, a three-year old running on 9 hours' sleep who almost never naps anymore, ready to whine the morning away:

"Mommeeeee! I need appa-JOOOOS!"

"My Ta! Mommy, get me my Ta! ... Noooo, you get it! I'm too tiiiired!"

"I want Smannies for breffast!" (Smarties-and no, he didn't get them)

Case in point: at this moment, Simon is sitting on the couch. His juice is on the table, exactly 2 steps away from him. He wants me to get his juice for him, because "I can't weeeeech it! I can't get it- you getit, I'm so tired*!" I don't think so.

And me? I'm more than a little cranky, too. I have very little patience for whining any time, but even less when I haven't had more than 2 hours' uninterrupted sleep in a week.

But enough of my bitching. I have to go make some waffles for this kid before his head explodes.

*And no, I have no idea where he heard the phrase "I'm so tired"- certainly not from me... *ahem*

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